Total eclipse of my mother effing heart

Lil Rusty
Aug 21, 2020
5 min read

Most people can remember the total solar eclipse that happened a few years back.

August 21st 2017 to be exact.

A natural phenomenon we got to witness with our very own eyes (well with the help of special glasses).

When I had learned that St. Louis (the city that I live in) was one of the places to witness this, I was like “F*ck Yes! A once in a lifetime event that requires minimal effort. I am in!”.

I was super excited because it was going to take place during the day. That meant I would be able to watch it before I had to work my bar shift at 6pm. It was perfect!

I walked outside with my glasses and waited. I saw my neighbors across the street watching and waiting as well. I walked over to them. A couple other neighbors and the mail lady joined us as we all patiently waited together.

Then it happened. We were witnessing a TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE.

We only had two pairs of glasses but we passed them back and forth making sure we all got a turn to see.

The animals and insects were confused. You could hear them singing their nighttime songs thinking it was dusk. How confusing that must have been for them. Like “Oh sh*t, it’s time for bed. Must have really lost track of the day”.

Shadows were turned into crescent moon shapes. The temperature dropped. The sky darkened.

It was a magical, spooky, unnerving, wonderful feeling all at once. It was awesome.

I was freaking thrilled!

I got to see it! I witnessed an event that won’t happen again in St. Louis until 2505.

I was happy to share this moment with my neighbors. I don’t know much about them but we now have this moment together forever and that is pretty neat.

I went back inside and got ready for my work shift.

When I got to work I was excited to talk with the bar guests about their Total Solar Eclipse experiences.

Some didn’t watch it. Some watched it and didn’t see what all the hype was about. A few others, like me, found it fascinating.

For anyone who has never experienced a bar shift with me let me tell you how they usually went:

I would spend a crap load of $$ playing songs on the jukebox to create the perfect atmosphere

I would sing and dance around to said songs played on the jukebox.

I would take requests of songs to play on the jukebox.

I would hand my phone to regulars for them to play a few songs.

The music was a definite love of mine during my shifts. That, or American Ninja Warrior.

The jukebox was like a game I loved to play and I took pride in the music arsenal I had in my brain.

Every once and a while a theme would be created and bar guests would go back and forth trying to come up with songs that stuck to the theme.

This night in particular was one of the best jukebox nights I have ever witnessed.

Obviously the theme had to do with the Total Eclipse.

People were really getting creative and I was loving it. We did our best to not repeat songs which I think was important. It’s not fun if everyone keeps playing “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler over and over and over again.

It was challenging not only my music knowledge but all the bar guests' music knowledge as well.

I can’t remember all of them but I will definitely add a Spotify playlist on this post of what it was like. Link at the bottom of the page.

One of the bar guests in particular was interested in what was happening in the bar.

I had never seen this person in Stan’s before. He was hard to miss that is for sure.

He had silver hair, a jawline that could cut glass, a dark mustache, and an ability to make me blush just by looking at me.

He was drinking a Busch Pint and sitting with another guy who I also had never seen at Stan’s before.

He seemed to like the challenge of finding obscure songs to go along with our theme.

Eventually his friend left and he stayed.

He stayed playing music with me and the others until last call. I told him what nights I worked and then he left.

He was different, in a good way.

Him and his friend would come in on Sundays. I later found out that his friend was actually his best friend/brother-in-law. I put them in that order because they were best friends first before they became brother in laws. Which is awesome.

I found him very mysterious. When I would see him walking in I would get excited. I loved getting the chance of getting to know him better.

He always made sure to never reveal too much about himself which only made me more interested in him. He was very careful about letting me get to know him. Each week we learned a little more about each other. I felt different around him.

He had been coming in for a few weeks and one night he was a little tipsy.

I could tell because he was very talkative. He would talk before but it was always thought out and calculated. When he was talking to me this night it was like his guard was down and he was talking to me freely.

He asked for a bag of chips for his walk home and I sneakily taped my cell phone number to them.

A couple agonizing weeks went by before he texted me. He finally found the bag of chips in his coat pocket with my number attached.

The first time him and I hung out, I almost bailed. The nerves were so close to taking over and canceling with him. I am so glad I didn’t.

We walked around our neighborhood talking, smoking cigarettes, and getting to know each other. We talked about what we wanted in life. He was different. I was different. We were different together and that is something I had never experienced before in my life.

That mystery man that I met when the moon eclipsed the sun is now the man I plan to live infinite lifetimes with.

I like to look back on the night we met when the universe aligned perfectly.

Each decision we made brought us closer to the day we would finally meet.

I look at every hard part of life and I am thankful.

Each heartbreak, each loss, each trauma, put me on the path of meeting him.

In the past three years him and I have gone through lifetimes together. Navigating the hard parts of life. Learning, growing, communicating, becoming better people with each other.

He calms me when I feel beside myself.

He reminds me of my strength that I often forget is there inside of me.

I feel everything when I am with him and it is truly magical.

I am so grateful the universe aligned the sun and the moon in hopes that we would find each other. We did and we have held onto one another every day since.

“He is the sun and I am the moon

We meet after so many years pass

Drawn to each other, we form a bond

That infinite lifetimes will last.”

-JG