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Writer's pictureLil Rusty

March 16th 2021-crushed but alive

Updated: Oct 23, 2021



Last Tuesday (March 16th) my lil 2 yr old best friend patted my belly and said baby. I was like wtf you talking about girl and then later that night took a pregnancy test. Sure enough. Positive.


4 other tests over the course of the next week confirmed it as well. But then I started bleeding this past Sunday. I thought I had most likely miscarried and that what I was most likely on my period.


I was wrong.


Severe abdominal pain kept me up all Tuesday night until 8am when urgent care opened and I was able to see a doctor.


We were the first ones there.

It felt like it took forever for them to come get me but honestly it probably took about 20 min but I was in such pain it seemed like hours.

There wasn’t a lot that the doctor could test bc of the lack of equipment at urgent care.


Got a rectal exam to help determine if it was appendicitis. Nope didn’t seem like that was the cause. That was fun.


He was trying to do anything in his power to rule out as much as he could but also not break my bank bc I was having to pay out of pocket bc urgent care didn’t take my insurance.


He did a vaginal exam and felt that it may be pelvic inflammatory disease. And that was my diagnosis and he wrote me a couple prescriptions. And I was out the door.


Thank goodness the end of this pain was near. Or so I thought.


Went to walgreens. While waiting for them to fill my prescriptions Dr. Simmons called and told me to go to the ER.


He said after I left he kept thinking more about the positive pregnancy test and felt in his gut that what I was experiencing was a spontaneous abortion. I canceled my scripts and started to cry in Walgreens.


To be honest the thought of how much this was going to cost me was so upsetting. Which is honestly f*cked up. The fact that A trip to the ER would set me financially in a big way. But I was in so much pain I didn’t care.


Austin called his dad to see which hospital has the fastest/best ERS so we decided on Mercy.

We arrived at Mercy on Ballas rd.


I told them my name and they sat me down and took my vitals and then wheeled me back to the maternity triage.


I undressed from the waist down and slipped on the gowns they give you.


My nurses Rylie and Lizzie were so great. They drew my blood and were very thorough with everything they were doing. They got all of my information and then we waited.


Waiting for my blood work to return.


Everything seemed fine.


So then the midwife came in. Her name was Krista and she was such a godsend. She was calm and informative. She said that she wanted to do a sonogram but also told me that she was not a sonogram tech and that the equipment they had down there isn’t as good as the ones they have upstairs but she wanted to give it a try for some peace of mind and to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. I appreciated her honestly. She talked to me like a real person.


She did the sonogram and then a vaginal probe to look up there from a different view. Couldn’t really see anything.


She said she would see if she could make an appt with the sonogram technicians upstairs. There was an opening 2:30 pm


I loooked at the clock 12:45pm


Whatever it takes.


We had already been trying to figure this out since 8am. What’s another couple hours.


Anything to get this pain to go away.


3 pm came around and Krista enters the room and told me she was going to transport me up there. She made me feel comforted and honestly I love her for that.


The whole time Austin is by my side. And he was being so great. I am very blessed with such a loving partner.


We made it up to prenatal floor where I was to get my sonogram.


Two women helped to make the diagnosis.


It was a textbook ectopic pregnancy they said.


They said the next step would to have surgery.


They said that I would go back to my room and wait for further information and instructions.


They left the room and Austin and I just sobbed.


I couldn’t hold it in any longer I let the tears fall and the sadness consume my whole heart and body.


Austin held me closer and took my face and lifted it towards his and told me he loved me.


Then transport arrived and we put our masks over our tear stained faces and made our way back to our room.


Krista (the midwife) came back in and she had such sadness in her eyes. She told us that she was sorry and that she knew this was disappointing news.


She also said this was kind of an emergency and that they schedule surgery as soon as they could get a hold of the Surgeon.


I asked her why this happens and she said that honestly there aren’t many answers to that.


My nurses came back in. Rylie and Lizzie.


Rylie looked at me and was like girlfriend. Most people who come in here with ectopic pregnancies are screaming bc of the pain. You are strong she said. And then looked at austin and was like you got a strong one. And he told her he knew.


Truthfully I was screaming on The inside.

The pain was excruciating. But when you are bleeding internally that will do that to a person.


They hooked me up to an IV and I took a rapid covid test before I could be cleared for surgery.


The doctor came in and I asked him to explain the surgery to me.


He said that it would be a laparoscopic surgery. Where they would make an incision through my belly button and then two on my sides and then inflate my abdomen with gas so they would be able to vacuum the fluid out and remove the Fallopian tube that was damaged.


I asked him what this meant for future pregnancies.


He said as long as there is still one Fallopian tube attached that I could still get pregnant in the future.


This was a relief.


Then he said it was time to go to the operating room. So off we went.


The doctor was walking so fast. Austin said later that he could barely keep up bc he had sweatpants on with both of our items weighing down the pockets, that made me laugh.


Austin gave me a kiss and then he had to go to the visitors area while I went to surgery.


They wheeled me in and had me scooch over to the operating table set up. They helped me remove my shirt and bra that I managed to still have on somehow.


They all introduced themselves and I told them that I was putting my trust in them to take care of me.


They gave me some oxygen and then gave me a general anesthetic.


I remember dreaming but can’t remember the dream but I woke up and I was in a new room and a little out of it.


The new nurse asked me if there was anyone with me. I told her my fiancé and she set out to find him. She returned with my handsome man and he had his hands full of all of my belongings and paperwork.


It was a strange feeling coming down from the anesthetic. The feeling of being high but groggy and pretty out of it.


They told me that I had to pee and then I could go home.


I remember thinking easy peasy I’ve peed like 12 times since I’ve been in the hospital.


Wrong.


I didn’t know bc I have never experienced anything like this but apparently it takes a minute after an anesthetic for you to be able to pee. Also they had put a catheter in while I was in surgery. A lot of first for me that’s for sure.


But finally I peed enough that the doctor said we could go home.


Thank goodness. As they were wheeling me out I noticed everyone was gone. We were the last ones there. Any longer I would have had to be admitted.


I was so thankful when we made it home.


The support I have received from friends and family has been so wonderful. I have cried multiple times over the kindness you have all given me.


My village is truly a great one and I am so thankful for each and every one of you who have showed me love these past two days.


Looking back it is so crazy to me that because I knew I was pregnant so early on, because a two year old told me that I was, that I was able to let the doctors know and give them a better sense of where to look for the problem.


I am thankful that I didn’t brush it off and that I trusted my gut and knew my body and knew something wasn’t right.


I’m thankful for the first doctor that called me back and went with his gut and instincts and sent me to the ER.


I am thankful for the nurses and midwife who made me feel comfortable and taken care of. They gave me a sense of peace that I so desperately needed.


I am thankful for the doctors and everyone who helped operate on me and ultimately may have saved my life.


I am thankful for Austin who stood by my side and comforted me as our hearts broke together. Our wedding is in a month and I am so thrilled he is my partner in life.


Today I woke up so very very thankful.








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