Growing a human is hard

Each second precious, each second waiting for the other shoe to drop. Each second preparing for the worst but hoping for the best.

Feeling like the weight of the world on my shoulders. Am I doing enough? Am I eating the right things? Am I healthy enough? Am I getting enough exercise, even though it’s impossible with my back hurting so badly?

Make a birth plan, prepare and plan baby shower, go to dentist, organize baby clothes, create space for baby, make drs appointments, apply for financial aid for surgery back in March, yes still dealing with surgery cost, car license plates expires this month, schedule emissions test, go to dmv, clean car out, keep up with household chores, get enough sleep while peeing every five minutes, but don’t stress out, no room for stress.

My brain, racing a million miles a minute. Constantly feeling like I’m not doing enough. Feeling like I’m not contributing enough. Feeling guilty for putting the brunt of the financials on Austin. This is 100% a me issue. He has been nothing but supportive and understanding this whole time. I feel like a burden, he sees me as the mother growing our child, a blessing.

This is as far out of my comfort zone as I have ever been. I have always supported myself, I have never needed anyone. And now here I am surrounded by support and accepting the help and love of others.

Growing a human is hard. It has forced me to grow in ways I had never thought were imaginable.

Here’s to growing with you for 25 weeks baby Shelby.

With every kick and punch you remind me that all of the stresses and unknowns are worth it. That it is a blessing to have spent this time with you, growing together. ❤️