December 29th 2007

On this day, 12 years ago, my life changed forever. D*****, today probably isn’t a day you think about ever but for me, I will never forget. It is part of my story and who I am.

12 years have gone by and still no apology and still no repercussions for your actions. I was a case where the system failed me.

I was 18 you were 23. We had been dating a few months before things took a turn for the worst. We had been out drinking at your friends house and went back to where you were staying. You had done some coke and started to get mean. When I told you I was leaving you took my phone and car keys and threw them down the street. My phone was shattered but I got my keys and got out of there. I drove to my co-worker Becky’s apartment. She was the only person I could think of that you wouldn’t know where I was. You called me 67 times. That was Dec 1st. The next day scared I went to the police and tried to get an order of protection.

They denied me.

Fast forward 28 days. December 29th (my stepbrothers birthday).

I remember hearing a loud crash to look out and see that you have busted a window out of one of the guys, who was at my apartment, car. You got into the passenger seat of some girls car and sped off. My friend Chris Shirley and I were standing outside smoking a cigarette waiting for the cops to show up. Instead you made it back to my apartment first, where you got out of the car with the baseball bat in hand and headed towards my apartment building. I even yelled down to you "what are you going to hit me with a baseball bat?" You came running up the stairs and Chris pushed me inside. Without thinking I locked the door. Luckily you weren't there for him, you were there for me.

You took a baseball bat to my car and to every door in my apartment, including the glass sliding door in the front. You remember that one??? The door you entered my home and proceeded to beat through every door searching for me. Oh no worries about me. I jumped off my second story balcony and landed straight on my feet shooting a sharp pain from my ankles to my spine. Thank goodness for the adrenaline, I was able to run and catch up to my friend and her boyfriend who had to jump out of my apartment as well in fear you would think she was me.

In what seemed like a split second and a lifetime simultaneously I got a phone call. It was my friend Chris calling me to let me know you were gone and that the cops had arrived. I made my way back to the apartment to find a scene right out of the shining. Every door was beat through even the closet doors. My car no longer had side mirrors or a back window. As I am talking to the cops you call me. The cops answer my phone to which you reply “I am not going to stop until she is dead”.

There were 7 people (including me) at my apartment that night (well morning it was around 5:22 a.m.). I still remember laying on my living room floor while we all wrote our statements. It seemed so surreal that something like this could happen.

I remember my stepdad driving to Decatur and me following him back to Springfield to get away from you and to also get my car fixed. The whole drive back you were calling me.

I wish that was the end of story. I wish you would have left me alone.

Of course after all of that the courts had issued me an emergency order of protection. I was the first of the year. Didn’t matter though. You broke it 13 times but yet they could never find you.

You knew where I worked and would sit out in the parking lot waiting for me.

I remember trying to talk to you and maybe seeing if I could convince you that we could be friends then that would be good enough for you to move on. I tried to be sympathetic due to how much i knew you were hurting after your brother died. That was the nice person of me being naive and foolish.

I remember seeing you at the mall while my friend and I were babysitting so I called the cops and they chased you through the mall but still they couldn’t catch you. You called me immediately after in which you told me “You f*cked up now, b*tch”. Yeah that is how i felt when they didn’t catch you. Like ohhh great thank you give him another reason for wanting to kill me.

You stalked me for a year. I moved into my sister’s apartment because I couldn't move in with my parents due to you knowing where they lived.

You were smart I’ll give you that. You hacked into my myspace and messaged all of my friends trying to get them to turn on me. Every person you and I knew mutually you bad mouthed me. I had to go missing for a year so you wouldn’t find me. Some people believed you and that hurt me back then but I know the truth and so do you, whether you want to own up to it or not.

Also during this time, I get a letter from collections. The apartment complex went after me instead of you for the cost of damages. I never received any notices from them and they turned me into collections. YOU ruined my credit at 18 years old. No worries my score is well over 700 no thanks to you.

You may remember Jenna and I taking to civil court which you were ordered to pay a fraction of the cost of damages but you managed to evade those cost as well.

I could have pursued it more. I could have come after you with every fiber of my being and you would be sitting in a jail cell rotting. I part of me wishes I would have but I didn’t have time for that. I was 18 and had to find a new job, start my life in a new city. For awhile there if I visited my friends you would threaten to send these girls you were friends with to parties I was at to kick my ass.

Did you know that if you get convicted of cyber stalking you have to serve 100% of your time with no chance of getting out on good behavior.

I remember reminding myself that you were worst case scenario when it comes to dating. We had dated for a short period of time before the phone and keys incident. That was my first red flag with you but definitely wouldn’t be my last.

Even with all the witnesses and evidence you walked free.

I want you to know that you may have changed my life with all the obstacles you threw my way but I was stronger than you. No matter how you tried to break me down, you never did. You taught me strength within myself.

The justice system failed me and for that you should be grateful. You should be grateful that I decided to focus on my life instead of ruining yours.