Afraid to take the picture.
To say my mind doesn’t go to worst case scenario here and there would be a lie.
My last pregnancy, the ectopic pregnancy, the surgery, all was honestly very traumatizing.
And here I am again in the in between.
Waiting for the weeks to come so I can feel her in my belly. So I can feel some sort of relief. Some sort of peace.
I have always taken pride in myself for my patience but this is a whole other kind of patience I am still learning.
How to keep going and moving and getting stuff done, when all I want to do is get to the next day that is closer to my next doctors appointment. To make sure she is still with me. There’s that part of me that is still hesitant to let myself be fully excited. The part of me that hopes for the best but prepares for the worst. But for now I will continue to keep marking the days off of the calendar and keep on keeping on.
Two weeks and I will be 20 weeks. Half way there.
5 more weeks until my next appointment and it’s another sonogram which is exciting to get to see how much she has grown.
Which judging from my belly she has grown quite a bit since I’ve seen her last.
This is such a strange journey.
A wonderful voyage to motherhood.
One day at a time.
❤️ all my love
Jessie
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